Subject: Typical responses to advice

32. *****

 Q: Someone broke the netiquette. Should I email advice?

 A: When you have gained more experience on Usenet you may wish to
help other users to find they way on the net. This requires
diplomacy! Mistakes are not remedied by scolding the errant user. It
just will get you enemies on the net. Learn to distinguish genuine,
well-meaning ignorance from deliberate net abuse. Let's consider in
this item the genuine mistakes. If you absolutely feel that you must
write to the errant user, try to help by giving constructive advice.
This is very important. If you are not constructive your advice will
be wasted, or worse. Too many mistakes are made on the net in this
respect.
   Be prepared for varying kinds of responses. Since I have myself
managed to gain a reasonable amount of experience on the net on
giving advice to fellow users, below are some of my observations.
These are typically the kind of responses one tends to get when
giving unsolicited emailed advice about matters like where one
should put binary postings, what are the relevant newsgroup's topics
and so on.

 1: Cooperative. Quite common. The user understands the nature of
the advice correctly, considers it useful, and that's normally the
end of it. Or s/he may email me a brief (welcome) note acknowledging
the information without further ado, sometimes complimenting on the
fact that there was no "flame" involved.
   (My response in this case: It is a real pleasure to deal with
users like you, and I look forward to meeting you again on the net.)

 2: Apologetic. Perhaps the most usual reaction. This is not a
necessary feeling since the information is genuinely meant to help
the user to find his/her way on the newsgroups. There is no
criticism involved in my sending the advice.
   (My response in this case: Please do not be discouraged by my
note. We all make mistakes. Please go on and enjoy the net.)

 3: Patronizing. Especially some experienced users feel embarrassed
by their mistake, may agree, but wish save face by whatever
rationalizations happen to become handy. A fairly common additional
hallmark of this category is including suggestions that would cause
an inordinate amount of extra work at my end.
   (My response in this case: We both seem know the true ropes. So
just let's leave be without further parrying.)

 4: Indignant. This reaction is fortunately not common. The user
does not actually refute having misposted, but the user's ego is for
some reason bruised from getting the unsolicited guidance.
Consequently s/he throws some form of a tantrum. Typically the user
also finds severe fault with the content of the advice. If the note
is short, s/he'll complain that it is too curt, if the note is
extensive, s/he'll complain that a couple of rows would have been
enough. There is no satisfying a user in this frame of mind.
   (My response in this case: Please first try to properly calm
down. Then reread the information which I sent you from a more
detached and receptive perspective.)

 5: Abusive. Fortunately this has happened very, very rarely. The
user calls me names, tells me to f**k off, tells me to mind my own
g*d d**n f**king business, and that he damn well posts whatever,
wherever, and whenever he pleases. He also confuses my giving the
information with trying to "police" the net.
   (My response in this rare case: I am afraid you seem to be beyond
redemption, a forgery, or under the influence. Please try learn the
some elementary manners if you intend to frequent the net.)

 6: Imperial. The user wants all things handed to him/her on a
silver platter. Goes something like in this spirit. "How dare you
send me a prerecorded message. I do not have the time to read
through long FAQ material (FAQ = Frequently Asked Questions). I want
a good, brief and customized answer to my question and to my
question only."
  (My response in this case: Sorry. While I try to help I am not
everyone's obedient servant. If you wish to have commercial quality
personal service, please turn to commercial providers.)
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