Subject: Asking for emailed news replies

3. *****
 Q: Why "(Please) reply by email, I don't usually read this group"
(sometimes a demand rather than a question) gets flamed?

 A: First please note that what I say below is not intended as
criticism of any individual poster, but as a general analysis of
requests to email the replies "because one does not read a
newsgroup".
   The problem is that telling people to email because one does not
follow a newsgroup basically is an impolite way of formulating such
a request, even if one says please. If one is interested enough to
post to a newsgroup, one should also be prepared to follow up the
newsgroup. If one asks others for favors, it is only fair to be
prepared to reciprocate.
   Intended or not, the attitude this (email-I-don't-read) decree
easily conveys is "I don't usually care for this wimpy newsgroup of
yours, but this time you are allowed to be of service to my exalted
person". What one should do, if following the newsgroup is genuinely
problematic (for cost, availability or other reasons), is at least
to offer to make a summary of the replies. The liturgy often used
for this is "Please reply by email. If there is sufficient interest,
I'll summarize". (This alternative is often advocated also because
it is expected to cut down the traffic). But make it genuine. Not
just a lip service.
   You might even state why following a newsgroup is problematic for
you. Some helpful users might then decide to post the answers to the
newsgroup, and send a copy of their response by email to you. In
fact you might say something like "I would be grateful for an
emailed copy of the potential posted replies, since I have
difficulties in following this newsgroup because ...".
   In general, the problem with asking only emailed replies is that
unless one offers to summarize, or has an extremely specialized
subject, the request will seem selfish. This is because other users
may be interested in seeing the potentially useful replies. On the
other hand if everyone posts an answer, the newsgroup will be
swamped for awhile. This sometimes happens with common questions
where almost everyone knows the answer. (An example: How does one
bypass pressing Y for del *.* in MS-DOS elicited an enormous number
of almost identical reply postings in February 1992 in one of the
Usenet newsgroups). It is not always easy to strike a balance.
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