Article: 49207 of talk.bizarre
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From: forbes@cbnewsf.cb.att.com (Scott Forbes)
Newsgroups:
news.groups,alt.flame,talk.bizarre,news.admin.policy,rec.music.synth,rec.music.makers.synth,rec.humor
Subject: =2= Night of the Usenet Winter Olympics
Summary: It's too dark to see!
Keywords: Usenet Winter Olympics coverage -- exclusively on USPN!
Message-ID: <1992Nov15.072436.11408@cbfsb.cb.att.com>
Date: 15 Nov 92 07:24:36 GMT
References: <1992Nov13.083517.29864@cbfsb.cb.att.com>
<1992Nov14.072212.29383@cbfsb.cb.att.com>
Sender: news@cbfsb.cb.att.com
Followup-To: rec.humor
Organization: Usenet Sports Programming Network
Lines: 97
Status: O
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F L A M E S L E D D I N G
The 1992 Usenet Winter Olympics
Arthur Kent:
>Hello and welcome back to USPN's exclusive coverage of the 1992
>Usenet Winter Olympics. This is Arthur Kent reporting live from
>Sarajevo, where the Flamesledding competition is underway.
>Flamesledding is one of the most dangerous events in the Olympics,
>and this year's competition has been very exciting. Let's take a
>closer look as the news.groups team enters the gate:
Ken Arromdee:
>If everybody else were bobsledding off a cliff, would you?
Karleenus Schwartz Davis:
>Well, of course! I mean -- AIYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Ken:
>Next! If everybody else were bobsledding off a cliff, would you?
Jesper Lauridsen:
>Umm... I suppose if everybody were doing it, there must be some
>good reason for it, right?
Ken:
>Sure. [ AIYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! ] Next! If everybody else
>were bobsledding off a cliff...
Arthur:
>It looks like we could set a record this year, sports fans. Stay
>tuned as the Olympics continue!
*
[Meanwhile, two men watch the proceedings from a nearby slope...]
Gene:
>Your plan is working flawlessly, Rich. The sysadmins have turned
>against each other, and are trying to enforce the Guidelines where
>they were never meant to apply. In a few days they'll be ready --
>perhaps even eager -- to return to the days of the Backbone Cabal.
Rich:
>Indeed. There's nothing like a little threat to the status quo to
>make people feel insecure, and make them want to force a little
>order and structure onto the net. By the time they realize what
>they've put into place, we'll be in control again.
Gene:
>And then we'll rebuild the net -- in our image. Heh heh heh heh.
>No more rabble-rousing talk.*, soc.* or misc.* groups... just
>comp.*, sci.*, and only those rec.* groups that we approve.
Rich:
>And, of course, with the Cabal making all the decisions, there
>won't be a need for news.* anymore, will there?
Gene:
>Of course, of course. You know, the time is coming soon when I
>will step down as head of the Cabal... and I'm starting to think
>that I may know who my successor will be. Keep up the good work,
>Rich, and you may find yourself in the top spot someday. But
>enough about that now: While we're in Europe we have some Cabal
>business to attend to. Last month's currency crisis was a great
>success, but we need to do something about the Bundesbank...
[to be continued....]