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Softpanorama, May 1996; v.8.No.2 (81) *** HUMOR *** À ..ÀÁ³Œ
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CONTENTS
1. TOP TEN reasons I have to reboot LINUX
2. The BigMac/Whopper Argument
From: [email protected] (Phil Howard)
Newsgroups: comp.os.linux.advocacy
Subject: TOP TEN reasons I have to reboot LINUX
TOP TEN reasons I have to reboot LINUX
10. My mother turned my computer off while I was away
9. Would you believe I upgraded the cache memory
8. The cat stepped on the Ctrl-Alt-Del key
7. A moment of disk drive silence for Windows 95
6. It's been so long since I watched it type out L I L O
5. Got a bigger hard drive
4. Lightning knocked out my electricity
3. Got a UPS now, but I gotta plug in to it
2. Upgraded to the newest kernel
And the number one reason is:
1. Moved Linux to /dev/hda1 after removing DOS/Windows/W95
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From: group16
Newsgroups: alt.fan.bill-gates,alt.destroy.microsoft,alt.mcdonalds-sucks,alt.burgerking-sucks,comp.sys.mac.advocacy,comp.sys.ms-windows.advocacy
Subject: FAQ:
Date: 22 Nov 1995 23:02:19 GMT
Organization: UIUC College of Engineering
The "BigMac/Whopper Debate" FAQ
The BigMac/Whopper Argument
Table of Contents
-----------------
(01) Introduction
(02) Origins of the BigMac/Whopper Debate
(03) The BigMac/Whopper Debate in Action
(04) How to Approach the BigMac/Whopper Debate
(05) Using the BigMac/Whopper Argument Separately
-------------------------------------------------------------------
(01) Introduction
------------------
This FAQ attempts to address a topic which has recently spawned
numerous useless threads on various *.advocacy newsgroups mainly
between Mac users and Windows users. Instead of debating intelligently
about the pros/cons of their respective OSes, they usually resort
to name calling and about how their OS is so much superior than the
other OS. Instead of discussing about the future direction of OSes
in general, they can't wait for the other OS to die. It is pathetic
to witness such a scene, especially when one can see how crappy both
OSes really are. Some try vainly to draw an analogy between cars and
OSes. I object to such a comparison. The current OS wars has more
to do with the Fast-Food industry than anything else, as I will show.
(02) Origins of the BigMac/Whopper Debate
-----------------------------------------
Mac users have claimed for years that Microsoft copied Windows from
Apple. So what? Burger King copied from McDonalds. It's still the
same crap. On the other hand, Windows users brag about how much
more popular their OS is. So what? The so-called national taste
tests show that more people prefer the Whopper to the BigMac. But
it only hides the fact that they're both crap. Apple users brag
about how Apple has the largest market share among computer
manufacturers. So what -- McDonalds has the largest market share
among fast food joints. But market share does not mean quality.
Nor does popularity. But like people who like BigMacs and Whoppers,
Apple users and Windows users do not realize this. Mac users
don't realize that saying that Windows crashes twice daily (instead
of twice weekly) is like saying eating daily at Burger King causes
diarrhea twice a day (as opposed to getting diarrhea twice a week).
Saying that the Mac is better than Windows is like saying the
BigMac is better than the Whopper. They both suck.
(03) The BigMac/Whopper Debate in Action
----------------------------------------
Here is an example of a debate in action:
[snip]
>>>>>>>>WIndoze copied form Ap[ple!
>>>>>> did not! CRapplle sux!!!!@
>>>>>> Macintrahs is a toy!!!
>>>> M$ suck! billg suckx! crash! crash!
>>>die mac! die mac!
>>>bill gate i$ the antichrist!!!! ha!!!
[snip]
(04) How to Approach the BigMac/Whopper Debate
---------------------------------------------
One way to approach the BigMac/Whopper debate is to use what
I call the BigMac/Whopper Argument. Basically, it goes like
this:
[snip]
you>>>>>>>>WIndoze copied form Ap[ple!
you>>>>>> did not! CRapplle sux!!!!@
you>>>>>> Macintrahs is a toy!!!
you>>>> M$ suck! billg suckx! crash! crash!
you>>>die mac! die mac!
you>>>bill gate i$ the antichrist!!!! ha!!!
[snip]
you> Sorry, but this is nothing more than the BigMac/Whopper
you> debate. You are all lame.
(05) Using the BigMac/Whopper Argument Separately
-------------------------------------------------
Here is an example:
[snip]
you>>> Macs suck! thye're just toys!!!@
[snip]
you> Sorry, but your argument is nothing more than a cold Whopper.
you> You are lame.
Likwise, the same may be used for Mac users:
[snip]
you>>>>CRAsh! win95! crahs!!!!
[snip]
you> Your argument is nothing but a maggot-infested BigMac.
you> Use a real OS.
Society
Groupthink : Two Party System as Polyarchy : Corruption of Regulators : Bureaucracies : Understanding Micromanagers and Control Freaks : Toxic Managers : Harvard Mafia : Diplomatic Communication : Surviving a Bad Performance Review : Insufficient Retirement Funds as Immanent Problem of Neoliberal Regime : PseudoScience : Who Rules America : Neoliberalism : The Iron Law of Oligarchy : Libertarian Philosophy
Quotes
War and Peace : Skeptical Finance : John Kenneth Galbraith :Talleyrand : Oscar Wilde : Otto Von Bismarck : Keynes : George Carlin : Skeptics : Propaganda : SE quotes : Language Design and Programming Quotes : Random IT-related quotes : Somerset Maugham : Marcus Aurelius : Kurt Vonnegut : Eric Hoffer : Winston Churchill : Napoleon Bonaparte : Ambrose Bierce : Bernard Shaw : Mark Twain Quotes
Bulletin:
Vol 25, No.12 (December, 2013) Rational Fools vs. Efficient Crooks The efficient markets hypothesis : Political Skeptic Bulletin, 2013 : Unemployment Bulletin, 2010 : Vol 23, No.10 (October, 2011) An observation about corporate security departments : Slightly Skeptical Euromaydan Chronicles, June 2014 : Greenspan legacy bulletin, 2008 : Vol 25, No.10 (October, 2013) Cryptolocker Trojan (Win32/Crilock.A) : Vol 25, No.08 (August, 2013) Cloud providers as intelligence collection hubs : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2010 : Inequality Bulletin, 2009 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2008 : Copyleft Problems Bulletin, 2004 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2011 : Energy Bulletin, 2010 : Malware Protection Bulletin, 2010 : Vol 26, No.1 (January, 2013) Object-Oriented Cult : Political Skeptic Bulletin, 2011 : Vol 23, No.11 (November, 2011) Softpanorama classification of sysadmin horror stories : Vol 25, No.05 (May, 2013) Corporate bullshit as a communication method : Vol 25, No.06 (June, 2013) A Note on the Relationship of Brooks Law and Conway Law
History:
Fifty glorious years (1950-2000): the triumph of the US computer engineering : Donald Knuth : TAoCP and its Influence of Computer Science : Richard Stallman : Linus Torvalds : Larry Wall : John K. Ousterhout : CTSS : Multix OS Unix History : Unix shell history : VI editor : History of pipes concept : Solaris : MS DOS : Programming Languages History : PL/1 : Simula 67 : C : History of GCC development : Scripting Languages : Perl history : OS History : Mail : DNS : SSH : CPU Instruction Sets : SPARC systems 1987-2006 : Norton Commander : Norton Utilities : Norton Ghost : Frontpage history : Malware Defense History : GNU Screen : OSS early history
Classic books:
The Peter Principle : Parkinson Law : 1984 : The Mythical Man-Month : How to Solve It by George Polya : The Art of Computer Programming : The Elements of Programming Style : The Unix Hater’s Handbook : The Jargon file : The True Believer : Programming Pearls : The Good Soldier Svejk : The Power Elite
Most popular humor pages:
Manifest of the Softpanorama IT Slacker Society : Ten Commandments of the IT Slackers Society : Computer Humor Collection : BSD Logo Story : The Cuckoo's Egg : IT Slang : C++ Humor : ARE YOU A BBS ADDICT? : The Perl Purity Test : Object oriented programmers of all nations : Financial Humor : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2008 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2010 : The Most Comprehensive Collection of Editor-related Humor : Programming Language Humor : Goldman Sachs related humor : Greenspan humor : C Humor : Scripting Humor : Real Programmers Humor : Web Humor : GPL-related Humor : OFM Humor : Politically Incorrect Humor : IDS Humor : "Linux Sucks" Humor : Russian Musical Humor : Best Russian Programmer Humor : Microsoft plans to buy Catholic Church : Richard Stallman Related Humor : Admin Humor : Perl-related Humor : Linus Torvalds Related humor : PseudoScience Related Humor : Networking Humor : Shell Humor : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2011 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2012 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2013 : Java Humor : Software Engineering Humor : Sun Solaris Related Humor : Education Humor : IBM Humor : Assembler-related Humor : VIM Humor : Computer Viruses Humor : Bright tomorrow is rescheduled to a day after tomorrow : Classic Computer Humor
The Last but not Least Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage and those who manage what they do not understand ~Archibald Putt. Ph.D
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