Finding Respectability without Self-Promotion As part of the Great Down-sizing, all of my audio recording disappeared. There was much blather on the recordings, but there were what I consider to be important things to be said. I will be writing essays on these things as they come to mind and as I have a bit of time...
I take issue with a few things when it comes to behavior. I don't think I am basically a prude, but others will have to judge that for themselves. The previous statement was an example of one of the things I take issue on: self-promotion.
In America, we are encouraged to paint the best picture of ourselves as we can, especially in relation to, for instance, applying for employment. Other cultures are very self-effacing, choosing to let others say glowing things rather than themselves. I try to be one of those and I suppose it informs my criteria on my next place to live (outside the USA). Americans are known for puffing themselves up to the point that complete lies are presented as accomplishments and I know that I have personally been passed over for jobs due to my refusal to "bulk up" my resume. The whole concept of "self-esteem" has nearly become an obsession: "I am the most wonderful person I know!" To people who are accustomed to building a deserved reputation based on actions rather than words, this "american" attribute of self-promotion is really quite offensive.
My thought is that we should always leave the definition of ourselves up to other people. I am constantly surprised how kindly people tend to be to others, especially if there is no competition going on. People have said very flattering things about me, and as I am not disposed to soliciting such, I can be grateful for their generosity and actually put some value in their compliments. If I say that I did a good job, I might be just making myself feel important - if someone else says that I did a good job, I can simply take their word for it.
I will now give you a very extended example.
I don't have any respect for "gay" people. They can be rich, they can give handsomely to charity, they can bring food to the needy, and I will still find them disreputable and basically selfish. The "gay pride" movement is, in my mind, a huge exercise in self-promotion. "We are wonderful people! You must accept us or you are a bigot!" "Gay" people can do some wonderful things, but they cannot be wonderful people by definition. They have done disreputable things, announce it with joy when they "come out of the closet", and they proselytize others to their disreputable "lifestyle" with the fervor of evangelicals.
I have put quotes around a lot of words above because almost all of them are used to legitimize what is actually sexual perversion. When someone says that they are "gay", they are saying that they have engaged in quasi-sex with someone they are not traditionally married to and that the other participant is of their same gender. A "gay" person has actually had sex out of wedlock, which is a disreputable and despicable thing - the fact that the mock-sex was with a person of their same gender is simply perverse on top of being disreputable. To be "gay" is to publicly announce that you engage in perversion and that you intend to do it on a regular basis for the foreseeable future. I cannot find anything respectable about that, no matter what else a person does with their time.
"Gays" are very, very keen on becoming respectable, hence the "gay marriage" effort, which I have written on before. When a group marches down the street in the name of "gay pride", it is a statement that they should be treated with respect, which is a self-promotion. They are demanding that you respect them! "I am a wonderful person and you have to agree with me!" Well, "gays" are loudly-proclaimed sexual perverts and I am obligated by God to disrespect that. You certainly have not earned my respect and cannot until you choose to stop being perverse. I and everyone else gets to decide if you are respectable and your own personal wish on the subject is meaningless. By proclaiming to be "gay", men choose to define themselves by their perverse sexual behavior and I will not respect that behavior as it hurts the woman they should have married and completed and also prevents the children they should have conceived and raised. Such men are the epitome of selfishness and they entice at least one other person, their current "partner", into abandoning their future spouse and children as well. This is very dishonorable and very disrespectful of a whole group of people who need better behaved people in their lives.
This is hopefully the end of my extended example.
You cannot just say you are a respectable (or any other kind of) person and expect anyone of any authentic standing to simply accept your word for it, no matter how it is crafted on your resume! Respect comes from years and years of respectable behavior and the title of respectability is granted solely by others. Self-promotion is a border-line disreputable act, so I advise everyone to avoid this sad yet seemingly "american" activity and put effort into simply being respectable. Let your reputation find you!
Whenever I write on the subject of "gay-ness", I always try to offer advice to those who feel trapped by a life of perversion, which is to stop now. You can immediately cease your perverse behavior and begin doing more wholesome things. For men (to whom I predominantly write here), you can find women who are ready and willing to marry you, despite your previous behavior and its consequences. Among these women, you can choose one to love completely, marry, and spend the rest of your life. You can have far more natural and more satisfying intimacy and sex, and have the honor of bringing your own children (if you are still capable of doing so) into life and raising them yourself. Marriage and family is the greatest challenge and greatest joy you will ever know! It is available to you after you put aside perversions, so do it today!